I am Invincible!!
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Featured
Hallmark to Start Numbering Movies Instead of Giving Them Titles
December 7th, 2019 – Kansas City, MO There are many things that people think of when it comes to Christmas: Jesus, Santa Claus, Christmas Trees, Family, Ornaments, Lights, and much, much more. One of these things that is just as popular among hardcore Christmas lovers is Hallmark Channel, which is known for it’s countless number… Read more
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North Carolina Considering Allowing “Vigilante Justice” on Aggressive Drivers
December 2nd, 2019 – Raleigh, N.C. We have all dealt with the rush hour traffic coming to and from work in the daily commute. Without fail, there is always someone (or several) people driving in and out of traffic, cutting off everyone, and going WAY over the speed limit. This can drive the most patient… Read more
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Steelers QB Mason Rudolph Demoted to Assistant Groundskeeper
November 24th, 2019 – Pittsburgh, PA It has not been a smooth week and a half for Steelers QB Mason Rudolph. He was part of brawl with DE Miles Garrett that involved him getting hit in the head with a helmet, resulting in multiple suspensions for the players involved in last week’s Thursday night game… Read more
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Featured
Local Insomniac Gets Sleep Thanks to Impeachment Hearings
November 21st, 2019 – Charlotte, N.C. The buzz of all the National news as of late here in the U.S. has been the impeachment hearings of President Donald Trump, which have been held by the House of Representatives for the last week. Networks and independent commentators alike have been discussing the issues around the hearings,… Read more
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Featured
Rhode Island Citizens Want to End CVS Pharmacy “Receipt Wastefulness”.
November 20th, 2019 – Woonsocket, R.I. Many of us have been to our local neighborhood CVS Pharmacy. They are the largest pharmaceutical company and the 7th overall largest corporation in the U.S. Despite their large market presence in the industry, they are probably known for one major thing. Their receipt length. There have been countless… Read more
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Featured
Congressman Swalwell Admits On-Air Fart was due to Lactose Intolerance
November 19th, 2019 – Washington, D.C. Democratic California Congressman Eric Swalwell did not have his finest moment last night while being interviewed by MSNBC’s “Hardball with Chris Matthews.” While discussing what was going on in the impeachment hearings and claims against President Trump, he stopped mid-sentence and then everyone heard it. The fart heard round… Read more
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SERIOUSLY THOUGH #2: Why Atheists Are Conflicted Over Chic-Fil-A
Chic-Fil-A is one of the most successful chicken fast food restaurants in the country. They are known for their “Eat More Chicken” advertisements and their highly acclaimed classic chicken sandwich. They are also known to have a good business model, which allows people to have their own stores and to help grow their own business.… Read more
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Featured
INSIDE INFO: Mexican Cartels Considering Trafficking Black Market Bottled Water
November 18th, 2019 – Mexico City, Mexico There is some big news coming out of Mexico today that if upheld could lead to some serious changes in how the Cartel does business and what they choose to traffic going forward. A Mexico City Judge ruled in favor of two individuals to use cocaine recreationally. People… Read more
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Featured
Kaepernick and Friends “Serve” NFL Scouts at Workout
November 16th, 2019 – Atlanta, GA Colin Kaepernick. To some, he’s a hero standing for civil liberties, police brutality, and equality. To others, he’s unpatriotic and is disrespectful to the American Flag and the U.S. military that has served this country. He has been in the subtext of most NFL conversations the past three seasons… Read more
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Featured
Alabama QB Tagovailoa to Finish Season With Bionic Hip
November 16th, 2019 – Mississippi State, MS It’s been a fairly painful year for Alabama QB Tua Tagovailoa. He just came off of ankle surgery on October 20th and missed a start against Arkansas, but looked like he was on his way back despite lack of mobility. Unfortunately today the QB suffered another injury. With… Read more
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Featured
DE Myles Garret’s Mom Grounds Him After Steelers Incident
November 15th, 2019 – Arlington, TX Last night’s win for the Browns should have been talked about as a great turning point. They pulled off an upset of the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday and were playing very well against a much improved Steelers team the last several weeks. They were within 10 seconds of… Read more
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Featured
Jared Leto Publicly Apologizes for His Portrayal of Joker
November 14th, 2019 – Los Angeles, CA Joaquin Phoenix and his portrayal of the titular character in Todd Phillips’ Joker has been the talk of movies ever since it’s release in October. Though some critics are divided on the quality of the movie, it has been received well by audiences and there is talk that… Read more
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Featured
BREAKING NEWS: Mark Sanford Actually Thought People Knew He was Running For President.
November 13th, 2019 – Charleston, S.C. Mark Sanford, former South Carolina Governor, announced in front of a small gathering of people in New Hampshire yesterday that he was suspending his campaign to primary President Trump for the Republican Nomination for President of the United States. He cited reasons such as the impeachment hearings getting in… Read more
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Featured
Giants Manager Gabe Kapler Diagnosed With Selfie Addiction
November 13th, 2019 – San Francisco, CA The major league baseball offseason is in full swing and rumors are swirling all around the sport in regards to free agents, managers, and front office moves. Gabe Kapler has been on both ends of those moves since the season ended. He was fired from the Phillies after… Read more
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Netflix Loses Hope, Will Begin Promoting the New Disney Plus Streaming Service
November 12th, 2019 – Los Gatos, CA For awhile there has been a lot of hype in regards to the new Disney+ streaming service, which is now available as of today for order. The service will not only include all of the Disney classics, but all other entertainment franchises that Disney has bought in the… Read more
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SERIOUSLY THOUGH #1: A Nonintervention Policy is the Best Way to Show Support For Our Veterans
Anyone who reads this blog can clearly tell that the stories I discuss are parody and 100% fake (or at least I hope you can anyway), but today is a day I make an exception. I was trying to think of a good parody idea that not only would pass as parody, but be something… Read more
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Bengals Fans Beg Bezos to Buy Bengals and Sell the Team on Amazon.
November 10th 2019 – Cincinnati, OH Today has been an interesting one in the NFL with the Falcons, Dolphins, and Browns all completing notable upset victories today. There was also a big announcement from one of the world’s wealthiest men pursuing the purchase of an NFL Team. This man in question is Jeff Bezos, the… Read more
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Thanksgiving Enthusiasts Protest Town’s November Christmas Decorations
November 9th, 2019 – Pleasantville, IN Now that Halloween has passed and the calendars have turned to November, many people are getting ready for the Christmas season. People have started pulling out their trees from storage and have begun decorating their front yards with their reindeer, Santas, and other symbols associated with Christmas, religious or… Read more
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Featured
“The View” Considering Replacing Joy Behar with Beto O’Rourke
November 8th, 2019 – New York, N.Y. The View has been on the air since 1997, established by legendary journalist Barbara Walters. The show has had many changes in it’s hosts and panel over that run, but the one constant has been Joy Behar. She has been on the show since it’s inception, only being… Read more
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Featured
Local Man Creates Yet Another Parody News Site
November 5th, 2019 – China Grove, NC We have all seen crazy headlines such as “Bryce Harper Wins the World Series on MLB The Show” or “Donald Trump uses Pokemon to help with California Fires”. Do they sound ridiculous?? Well they should, because that is the point. These are headlines you would see from parody/fake… Read more
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